I think I finally see just how it happened, took a young boy’s open life
And turned it, twisted it right into something else
You know there must have been a reason, sort of like falling on a land mine,
Wakes your mind up, cuts your senses, you wouldn’t choose it for yourself
But strange things happen, unpredicted, mighty time rolls ever forward
Across the crooked trails of what seems at first such an arbitrary ride
The things we yearn for, all we need, the things we want, how they make us bleed
Still I mostly throw it all away
Kill it, waste it, all my time
The only precious thing there is
Exactly equal to this life
The only gift there ever was
But no, I know, the things, the ones we fill it with
Who are they, and why are they the ones
If my mind could reconcile the things my eyes took in those moments
Should I take the time or just say goodbye, move on to something else
Why waste time in this retelling, twisting shape, convincing, selling
Is my doubt so great I still need to justify it to myself
And beyond that why debate it, it exists because I said it
I’m no liar, exaggerator, because I feel it more than you
And if I stretched it from proportion just to set myself in motion
A captive mind can be no standard from which we ever take our cue
Even so I throw it all away
Kill it, waste it, all my time
The only precious thing there is
Exactly equal to this life
The only gift there ever was
But no, I know, the things, the ones we fill it with
Who are they
And you and I screamed this is how it has to be
My whole mess outside myself
But safe in you and yours just as safe in me
How could it be wrong to give up yourself so freely
That’s the gift we stumbled on but then forgot and fell off
Just as quickly
It’s what’s inside, what’s between
Behind, below, deep down beneath
A hidden cut it bears its teeth
It does its job, it swallows whole
All our dreams of life and living, best-intentioned blood and souls
Our only want, my deepest goal
Breaks in pieces and it steals
And then forgives and finally heals
It gives us love and lets us feel
And it’s the only thing that lasts, the only constant moving fast
Moving on, it’s moving past
Brings the one that makes it in, the one that penetrates my skin
My sacred fit, my holy kin
It’s what’s within
It’s how we’re tied